Dear Bear Grylls

September 29, 2015

shoutykid monkey

 

From Harry to Bear Grylls

29 September 19:31 BST

Dear Bear Grylls, survival expert and Chief Scout, hi there,

 

My dad has tried to make me and my sister more outdoorsy. We’ve looked for buried treasure, built a bird box, played Pooh Sticks, been to ball parks and adventure playgrounds, and we even went crabbing off the quay in the village. But all of that is NOT as much fun as playing World of Zombies. And maybe THAT’S why my dad thinks sailing round the world would be a good thing for us to do.

 

But what if we get shipwrecked and nobody knows where we are like in that TV show, LOST? That’s why I’m writing to you. What kind of stuff do I need to start learning to keep this family ALIVE?

 

Good luck and have fun.

Harry

 

 

Dear Ezeld Trenneman

September 9, 2015

 

shoutykid snake

 

From Harry to Ezeld Trenneman

09 September 18:43 BST

 

Dear Ezeld Trenneman, organiser of The Kernow County ‘Big Cheese’ Cheese Festival, hi there!

 

You don’t know me, but my dad met some guy in the pub who said I should get in touch to see if you wanted a GREAT new band to come and play at your cheese festival. My dad said The Fluid Druids and The Tankslappers have been booked, but you’re looking for a few more good acts to play in the afternoon.

 

One last thing – can we bring Mr Slippy? He’s a 9-foot boa constrictor and he makes us look cool on stage. Would that be possible?

 

Good luck and have fun.

Harry

Dear Justin Bieber

September 6, 2015

shoutykid heh heh

From Harry to Justin Bieber

06 September 09:15 BST

 

Dear Justin Bieber, pop legend and seller of millions and millions of pop records, hi there!

 

Do you have to be a brat to be a good musician? I’m in this band with this kid called Kevin, and he’s the worst behaved kid I’ve ever met. Today he blocked up the school toilets with loo paper, then he disappeared for an hour at lunch and when he finally turned up, he told me that school food sucks so he went out to Morrison’s to buy a tuna fish sandwich.  Kevin says you have to be a bad boy if you want to make it BIG in the pop business. Is that true?

 

Please GBTM soon.

 

Good luck and have fun (you probably are anyway).

 

Harry

Dear Grandma

August 31, 2015

shoutykid aqua land

 

From Harry to Grandma

31 August 20:52 BST

 

Dear Grandma,

 

Thanks for having me and Charlotte to stay with you out in Spain. It was a GREAT holiday. Aqualand was the best bit, even though we got thrown out. I didn’t like the mosquitoes, but I DID like the way you made Charlotte give me the window seat on the way home cos I’d let her use my suitcase for her extra junk.

 

So I’ve been thinking, why don’t you come and stay with us now? We miss you, Grandma. Will you think about it?

 

Lotsa love,

 

Harry xxxxx

Dear Prince George

May 5, 2015

p260

Dear Prince George,

Doesn’t it suck when your mum is about to have a new baby and everyone’s like, “Oh, Congratulations! I’m SO happy for you guys?” and you’re thinking, “Why? I might have to share my bedroom with a baby.”  And, “What if they like this new kid more than ME?”  That would suck, right?  OK, they probably won’t and, anyway, you still get to be King one day so Ha! I’m never going to be a King in my house, but when the twins come they will learn that I RULE at X-Box!

Good luck and have fun.

Harry

P. S. Say hi to the Queen from me.