My Letter to Santa

December 22, 2014

 Tresinkum Farm
Cornwall, PL36 OBH

Santa Claus,
The North Pole,
Arctic Circle

Dear Santa (or would you prefer Father Christmas?),
hi there –
Mum says if I write you a letter with my Christmas list, maybe when you swing by north Cornwall, you’ll come down our chimney.

I ought to warn you we have a dog and his name is Dingbat, but you don’t have to worry about him, cos I’m going to keep him on my bed where he can’t bite you. The only thing we need to worry about is Charlotte. She’s my sister and she told me she’ll ruin my Christmas unless I agree to have that idiot, Spencer, stay in my room over New Year. But I don’t want that kid in my room cos his feet STINK. So if she DOES come down to try and scare you off, please DON’T go without putting some presents under the tree.

Anyway, here’s my list:
1. A new XBox One (which Mum said I’m probably not going to get)
2. The Official World of Zombies Illustrated Handbook: Written in Blood
3. World of Zombies 2: The Resurrected
4. A ticket to go to Disneyland with my cousin Charley
5. A Frisbee for me and Dingbat

Also, I was wondering who buys YOU presents? Do you have to choose them AND wrap them yourself? That would suck. If you’d like, you can send me a list and I’ll see what I can do. I’ve got some pretty good connections (like the Queen, David Cameron and Dr Dre). They know me, and they’ll probably have a TON of stuff left over, although you might not get it till Boxing Day.

One last thing. What you do when it’s not Christmas? If you get bored and you want to play some WoZ, let me know your gamer tag and I can add you to my list of friends, then we can game! OK? Thanks a lot!

Good luck and have fun,

Merry Christmas,


P.S. You can download and print my letter to Santa here.